I really hate myself for being so dumb.
I just can't get a single thing into my head.
And oh great, I'm failing all the tests so far.
And none of them are borderline failures.
I bet I'm going to fail my Science ST.
I don't know if it's me who isn't studying hard enough or purely me.
My mum still believes in me. She always tells me "You can do it! Believe in yourself. Don't know must ask. Must practice."
I feel so useless.
Apart from using the computer and sleeping,
I have no talents, brains and nothing.
My voice isn't good afterall, only that I've been convincing myself the past few years.
I only go to school because I'm forced to.
Like as if I go to school to learn.
I don't even learn a single thing.
I HATE MYSELF.
I really doubt why God let me live in this world.
He's just maybe wasting His time watching over me.
Today this stupid ah lian in school scolded me because I took up her space.
Why can't I be brave and confront her? The benches in school are for everyone to use.
Like she owns the school.
No wonder she's in NT.

Perhaps going into Normal Academic is a better choice.

I DON'T KNOW! GOD CAN YOU PLEASE GUIDE ME? I NEED GUIDANCE AT THIS POINT OF TIME AND YET I HAVE NO SOLUTION. I'M BEING SO IMPATIENT BUT SERIOUSLY, I'VE TRIED MY BEST LISTENING AND UNDERSTANDING LESSONS. AND YET I AM STILL FAILING SO SERIOUSLY. I EVEN GOT A 6 OUT OF 30 FOR MY MATHS. GOD PLEASE GUIDE ME!!! I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP!!! YOU KNOW SINGAPOREANS DON'T WAIT. ONCE I FAIL SOMETHING, IT'S THE END OF IT. GOD, PLEASE, I REALLY REALLY REALLY NEED YOUR HELP.

I am 100% serious about this, not acting or anything.

GOD CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO? I AM HOPELESS, REALLY. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANNA SCREAM MY HEAD OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!